As the time has come to think about if I’m returning to work or not – well obviously I have been thinking about this for a long time, but it’s always something different when the deadline approaches – my favourite question comes up again:
What do I actually want to do with my life? or if we want to speak in yogic terms: what is my dharma (purpose, duty, reason for being…)
Childcare cost in the UK
There is an endless debate about what should be done with regards to cost of childcare, maternity pay, tax credits, childcare vouchers etc. and I don’t want to go into much detail here as frankly I don’t have a clue.
What I can say is that when I mention the cost of childcare in the UK to my French and German relatives and friends there is usually the initial “Was??!!” or “Quoi??!!” followed by the look which seems to say “oh those poor people in the UK / I’m so glad I live in France/Germany / they really should have joined the Euro / those English people are doing it all wrong” (to which I would first of all reply your government is not a charity so you’re paying for it one way or another!)
Anyway, my point is that childcare is very expensive in this country and maternity benefits are modest. So just to spell it out, for a full time nursery in London I would pay between £1500 and £2000 a month per child. That’s about EUR 1900- EUR 2400 or $2300-$3100 (as at Nov 2014). My relatives in France would pay about EUR 500 per child (I think it might actually be less). To be honest I’m not sure what the current system in Germany is, but they get a very generous maternity allowance for the first 14 months and their jobs will be kept for 3 years. It’s different in every country.
Having a choice…
I have chosen to live here in the UK so there is no point for me comparing myself to someone living in (the rest of) Europe or elsewhere. My current situation is that my children are both under three years old, so I would be paying full childcare for both of them (and we have established that this is expensive) which means that regardless of if I go back to work 4 or 5 days (those were the options) it would not make a difference to me financially.
In other words at the end of the month I have the same money if I work and pay someone to look after my children or if I stay at home. I actually consider this to be a blessing as I can make the decision without worrying about money. Whereas French mums are almost forced back into work very quickly as they pay next to nothing for childcare and German mums usually stay at home for the first couple of years (as they get very good state benefits) I can freely choose for myself what I want to do!
I’m definitely not saying that this is the same for every woman in the UK as it depends on your salary, if you have relatives around to help you etc but this is what it is for me at the moment and I am very happy about it. At the end of the day it’s not about what mums should or shouldn’t do about returning to work but that they have a choice!
It means that I can actually decide if I want to pursue my career because it brings me fulfillment or if I want to stay at home and look after my family. At the end of the month I don’t have more or less money doing either so it’s down to what I think what is best for me and my family.
Returning to work might have long-term benefits (promotion, pay-rise etc.) even if there are maybe no financial benefits in the short term but of course this only makes sense if the career I’m pursuing is really something I want to do for a long time. I’m very grateful that I’m in this position as it’s a great time to re-evaluate my life and help me find my dharma.
What brings harmony to me and the people around me? Have I realised my fullest potential. If I had all the money and all the time in the world, what would I do? (Deepak Chopra)
Well, something to think about once in a while…
Wow, I found this blog post so interesting as I myself have just been faced with the same questions. I went back to work when my youngest was 7 months old and really really struggled. In the end I was forced to evaluate the situation and realised that the job I was doing was not fulfilling enough for me to sacrifice family time, and so have decided to have a bit more time at home with her. Really interesting to look at it all from another angle though – and you’re quite right, all women should have the choice without fear of judgement. X
Thank you for your comment! It all changes when you become a mother doesn’t it? You start to re-evaluate your life and priorities! x