Toddler’s Guide to Success: 8 things to do before you are two

My little guest blogger is back! This time he is presenting to us his must-do list that he put together for his fellow toddlers so please pass this on to relevant little people… or not… well it’s better not to I think… 

For those of you who don’t know me my name is Leo and I’m one and a half. I have a big sister who is three (she wrote this brilliant article about how to get your mum to turn on the TV and she tells me that toddler life goes by quickly so we have to make the absolute most of it!

This is why I put together this list of things that you MUST DO before you turn two. Once you turn two it’s over… you’re a grown up and will be put into the naughty corner or threatened with no treat or no TV… now you are really cute so take full advantage!! Some of the things on the list you will probably only be able to do once so choose the best moment wisely! Some of them can be done on a daily basis!

1. The baby wipes distribution

This is a good one to do while mummy is cleaning… I don’t like it when my mummy cleans silly stuff like the kitchen or the bathroom. I want her to clean around me! Loo roll also works well and can be really easily distributed around the house but baby wipes are my favourite!

2. Poo in the bath

Yes, I know this sounds disgusting and who would want to have a bath in their own poo but trust me… you will get quite a reaction which makes it absolutely worth it!! It’s also quite funny to do when mummy is in the bath with you but you risk that she might not ever take a bath with you ever again so I leave that one up to you to decide…

3. Start a sock collection

Do you have a sock collection yet? Well I have got a secret one and I keep it behind my bed! Any socks I wear or find I put behind my bed! Unfortunately mummy has found my hiding place now so I might have to find a different secret location…

By the way a sock collection with matching socks is good but one with single socks is much better!!

 

4. Eat sand

It’s delicious and makes an awesome sound in your mouth when you’re chewing it ! I can’t really say anything else about it. You MUST try it!

5. Use mummy’s expensive face cream

…not for your face of course! You have already baby smooth skin after all! You can spread it all over your clothes or decorate the bathroom walls with it. To be honest I haven’t actually done this yet but my sister tells me it’s great fun! I still have a few months before I turn two of course…

6. Use markers for a full body and face paint

I love painting… especially myself! Markers work best for this and if you have older siblings then they are quite easy to get hold of! Sometimes they even hand them to you!

7. take mummy’s iphone and check if it floats in the bath

I tried to do this but was stopped just before I got there… MUST try again… Maybe the toilet?

8. Empty all the cupboards and drawers you can reach

I know this is such an obvious one but it’s so much fun! And really this is what toddler life is all about! We need to keep our parents busy because otherwise they will be really bored and they do silly thinks like washing up or cleaning… It’s our duty to keep them on their toes, challenge them and make sure they don’t have a second to sit down because once they do they might never get up again! You never know… They are so old after all!

So, I hope you like my list and let me know if there is anything I should definitely add to it! Have I missed any good stuff?